An Excerpt from “Upholding God-Ordained Marriage Is One of the Greatest Ways to Advance the Gospel, Part 9”
The complete article is available here.
A man and a woman are alike in that each is human; yet each is different from the other in both obvious and subtle ways. Significantly, God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18). Because a man and a woman are different, they are compatible. I don’t mean that any man is compatible with any woman in the same way we think of relational compatibility for a specific couple. I mean generally speaking, the differences between men and women make a man and woman suitable for each other in a marriage relationship.
Male-female differences enhance curiosity, augment relational chemistry, and intensify attraction between two members of the opposite sex. We can sense at least some of these elements in Edmund Leighton’s painting Courtship. Go here to see additional works by Leighton that showcase the healthy tension and even mystery unique to opposite-sex relationships.
Male-female differences also set the stage for a husband and wife to be an effective team, not only in ways that benefit each other, but also in ways that meet the needs of any children born as a result of their union. Yes, these differences can be a source of great frustration as well, but as a couple works through the obstacles together, their bond becomes stronger, deeper, and more intimate. We do not have any of this with same-sex couples.
An Excerpt from “Flawless Design”
The complete article is available here. In this excerpt, minor editorial adjustments have been made for brevity, smoothness and clarity.
Key point: Marriage cannot function as God intended it to function and bring its manifold benefits to individuals and society if its design is rejected or changed.
The Bible speaks without ambiguity about maleness, femaleness, human sexuality, and marriage. Quoting Genesis, Jesus asked the Pharisees, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”?'” (Matt. 19:4-5; Gen. 2:24). As we observed in a previous post,
For what reason, then, shall a man “leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:4-5; Mark 10:6-8)? The answer is clear. It first is stated in Genesis and then restated by Jesus in Matthew and Mark: Because God created human beings as male and female!
The Workings of a Watch Showcase the Brilliance of Design
God designed marriage to be a lifelong union of one man and one woman. To design is “to create, fashion, execute, or construct according to [a] plan.”
To better understand and appreciate what it means to design something, we should take a close look at an item that has been designed. A pocket watch is a great example. The following presentation is just under a minute-and-a-half. While it doesn’t name the various parts of a watch, it uses 3-D animation to visually demonstrate how all the separate pieces work together. Keep in mind that all the parts work—and so does the watch—because the right components have been created and placed in strategic relationships with one another. In other words, the watch was designed, and built according to the design.
Notice that a builder cannot duplicate some parts and leave others out and expect everything to work smoothly—or at all. Nor can he or she put the parts together “any old way.” The design must be followed for the item to function as it should.
A watchmaker cannot duplicate some parts and leave others out and expect everything to work smoothly—or at all. Nor can he or she put the parts together “any old way.” The design must be followed for the timepiece to function as it should.
Divine Design
How can we realize these things about mechanical items but miss parallel principles with regard to marriage? God’s design is perfect! Marriages don’t always function as they should, but this is because of human imperfection and sin, not because of the design!
God’s design is perfect! Marriages don’t always function as they should, but this is because of human imperfection and sin, not because of the design!
The One who created human beings as male and female established marriage as a lifelong commitment between one man and one woman. He did this, not to frustrate, but to benefit—to benefit the couples directly involved, their children, and society at large.
“It is not good that man should be alone,” God said in Genesis 2:18. “I will make him a helper comparable to him.” God put the man into a deep sleep and created a woman out of one of his ribs. Then He brought her to the man, who joyfully acknowledged she had been “taken out of Man” (v. 23). With these creative actions, God established marriage: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (see Gen. 2:18-25).
Inherent in God’s design for marriage is the complementarity of men and women, who are alike in that both are human beings, yet different from each other in a variety of ways (go here, here, and here). This, we must understand, is what God intended. As we have noted, the Lord said, “I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Old Testament scholar and seminary professor Dr. Daniel Kim believes this to be a more accurate translation of the Hebrew statement from God:
“I will make for him a helper, as one who is his counterpart.”
The woman, like the man, was and is made in God’s image. Moreover, she is equal to the man in terms of her inherent worth and the contributions she makes to their relationship, their family, and society. Yet her contributions, in a great many ways, are different from his. This in no way rules out her being employed outside the home; it only means she alone can be a woman, a wife, and a mother, and he alone can be a man, a husband, and a father.
Parallels
Returning once more to the watch illustration, we repeat what we said earlier about its design: A watch maker cannot duplicate some parts of the watch and leave others out and expect everything to work smoothly—or at all. Nor can he or she put the parts together “any old way.” The design must be followed for the watch to function as it should.
Against the backdrop of a functioning mechanical watch, we now will note four parallel traits that are true of both the watch and of marriage.
First, the parts fit together. Gear teeth interlock. Hubs hold wheels and gears in their proper places. Springs have the necessary space to be tightened and to loosen as the watch carries out its planned function. A husband and wife also fit together. We see this most obviously in the physical realm, but it is true on a multitude of other levels as well. In neither the watch nor in marriage are the players or parts identical, but they are compatible.
Second, the parts work together to accomplish a positive purpose. Gears turn with other gears; springs tighten and then unwind slowly, and hands move because they perform their functions in harmony with all the other parts. Likewise, in a marriage as it was designed to function, a husband and his wife also work together. These beautiful words from Ecclesiastes 4 come to mind. While friendship is one context for these verses, marriage is the most fitting scenario. Note that verse 12 hints at God’s role in strengthening the couple’s covenant partnership.
9 Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Eccl. 4:9-12).
Third, as the parts work together, they also work against each other—not in an adversarial way, but in a way that enhances the function and role of each, as well as the overall performance of the larger item of which they are parts. How have we missed this? Because of the differences between components, each one is able to fulfill its role of pushing, prodding, nudging, and halting various other parts when actions like these are necessary. In marriage, we see this in that the husband and wife counterbalance each other when needed. Consider this pivotal scene from the move Rocky II. Rocky is lethargic and unmotivated to train for his upcoming fight with Apollo Creed, but then his wife Adrian comes out of her coma, they see their baby together, and…
To these three observations we now add a fourth. This is the insight we dare not miss! We must resolve to find positive ways to share it with society at large.
Just as the most effective way to ruin a watch would be to reject or to try to reshape or redefine its design, the most effective way to ruin marriage is to reject, alter, and/or redefine its design.
Just as the most effective way to ruin a watch would be to reject or to try to reshape or redefine its design, the most effective way to ruin marriage is to reject, alter, and/or redefine its design.
It isn’t hateful or unloving to declare this. Rather, withholding the information would be unloving.
Copyright © 2017 by B. Nathaniel Sullivan. All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise marked, Scriptures have been taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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Copyright 2017 by B. Nathaniel Sullivan. All rights reserved.