Support Therapy for those Who Want It

Clients’ Rights and Government Wrongs, Part Four

It’s a lie that you can’t find fulfillment and joy after you leave homosexuality—that all you can do is repress parts of yourself and white-knuckle your way through. That’s not what Elizabeth [Woning] and I and many of our friends experience. Yes, there are some people who seek change, don’t find it and are miserable. But for many of us, that’s not the story at all.
—Ken Williams, a former homosexual and co-leader of Equipped to Love, a ministry seeking to help people heal from sexual wounds and brokenness—

Key points: The idea that homosexuals cannot change is grounded in the false notion that they have been “born that way.” Moreover, when Christians deny the validity of counseling or therapy to help same-sex attracted individuals—especially Christians—overcome unwanted homosexual tendencies, they effectively are denying the power of God to use such an approach to facilitate change. God is not so limited.

All the articles in this series are available here.

In 14 states and 45 localities in the United States, therapy to help clients overcome unwanted same-sex attraction has been banned, by law, for all minors. Having called such therapy pro-heterosexual therapy, we must be crystal clear about what we mean. Effective therapeutic approaches to address unwanted same-sex attraction are pro-heterosexual in the sense they seek to address the underlying causes of same-sex attraction and homosexuality. In other words, they don’t directly address homosexuality itself, or we might say they address homosexuality indirectly by focusing on factors that could have triggered same-sex attraction. When these factors, which often involve emotional and developmental wounds, are competently dealt with, healing begins. With healing, the homosexual attraction often tends to diminish, and heterosexual desires very well may increase.

Effective therapy never shames clients. Instead, therapists respect them and their autonomy. Therapist and client work together to achieve mutually-agreed-upon goals.

Because counseling and therapy to address same-sex attraction often are effective, they are a threat to the LGBT narrative that gay people are “born that way” and cannot change.

Because this kind of therapy often is effective, it is a threat to the LGBT narrative that gay people are “born that way” and cannot change. This is why LGBT activists seek to malign and outlaw all pro-heterosexual change efforts—not just the harmful practices they say characterize what they derisively call “conversion therapy.”

You can read a slightly more detailed statement about pro-heterosexual change efforts here.

Get Ready! An Onslaught of Misinformation and Propaganda Is Coming

As we already have said, in 14 states and 45 localities in the United States, it is illegal to use any pro-heterosexual therapy to help minors overcome unwanted same-sex attraction. The introductory article in our series on therapy bans explored these prohibitions and the growing hostility to clients’ and parents’ rights.

Against the backdrop of bans on therapy for minors, California almost became the first state to ban counseling for everyone. However, Evan Low, the author of the therapy-banning bill (AB 2943), withdrew it at the tail-end of the legislative session. Even so, Low is committed to bringing back similar legislation. What must Christians do to preserve liberty and freedom? Already we’ve examined three of the following five items. Today we’ll explore why we must understand and openly support therapy for those who want it.

Be gracious, but also wary, informed, and involved.
Expect similar proposals in the future.
Don’t compromise!
Acknowledge that some therapy and counseling is beneficial, and support it. Affirm the rights of clients to get whatever therapy, treatment, or counseling they want. Don’t buy “conversion therapy” rhetoric and propaganda.
Stop misrepresenting what the Bible teaches about homosexuality—and stop being taken in by misrepresentations.

4. Acknowledge that some therapy and counseling is beneficial, and support it. Affirm the rights of clients to get whatever therapy, treatment, or counseling they want. Don’t buy “conversion therapy” rhetoric and propaganda.

Sadly, it isn’t just the broader culture that ignores former homosexuals; it’s the church as well! However, as the voices of former homosexuals coalesce and intensify, they increasingly will be heard above politically correct rhetoric. Luis Javier Cruz, a survivor of the Pulse Nightclub shooting on June 12, 2016, spoke at an anti-AB 2943 rally in June. He affirmed that through that terrifying ordeal in Orlando, he discovered “that Jesus is the only man in my life who would die for me. The government should not dictate to us how we choose to live our lives. If we can celebrate going” into homosexuality, “we should be free to celebrate coming out of it.”

“If we can celebrate going” into homosexuality, “we should be free to celebrate coming out of it.”
—former homosexual Luis Javier Cruz—

Another former homosexual, Drew Berryessa, said, “If AB 2943 were enacted as law when I was a young person, I would not have found hope in my life.”

I have some strong words, but I believe they need to be said. Christians are ignorant, wrong, unwise, foolish, or a combination of these, to deny that some therapy has benefits, and that therapy has benefits for some people. Dr. Joseph Nicoholsi, Sr. was a pioneer in effective therapy to address the root causes of same-sex attraction in his clients.

Christians are ignorant, wrong, unwise, foolish, or a combination of these, to deny that some therapy has benefits, and that therapy has benefits for some people.

Celebrating Change

Dan, a 16-year-old client of Dr. Nicolosi’s, described some of the benefits of the therapy he received.

My OSA (opposite-sex attraction) is a lot stronger, definitely. It’s to the point where my SSA was when I started therapy; that’s where my OSA is now. It, like, switched. The more l got myself thinking about what the SSA was all about, and what it was based on, the stronger the OSA got. I don’t have a girlfriend yet but female images can get me aroused, like the gay guys used to. I know I can get married some day, which was out of my mind before.

Another client, John, said,

My name is John; I pursued therapy with Dr. Nicolosi because my sexual life needed special attention and I wanted the best I could find. I am now 40 years old and was in reparative therapy for just over two years.…

I would advise anyone struggling with SSA [same-sex attraction] to give therapy a try. It doesn’t hurt to try out three sessions and at the beginning, don’t really worry too much about focusing on SSA, BUT FOCUS ON THE HURT AND THE SSA WILL TAKE CARE OF ITSELF IN SOME WAY. You will be more healthy. Focus on improving your overall health. Again, just work on places where you need healing and the rest with take care of itself. I was NOT attached to results, and improvement happened in regard to SSA in an awesome way I could not have imagined. Things are not perfect but I have confidence for the future and a groundedness. I am continuing to heal and learn at a more deep level. I’m more in touch with my true authentic self and deepest desires. I have come a long way and am excited about the future.

Dr. Nicolosi passed away in 2017, but his son, Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, Jr., continues his work.

Meet Stephen Black

Stephen Black, who heads First Stone Ministries, uses a pastoral counseling model to help those wishing to overcome same-sex attraction achieve their goals. The approach emphasizes a relationship with Jesus Christ and the transformation He brings to those who come to Him for salvation and forgiveness of sins. Black, a former homosexual himself, has been involved in this type of ministry for many years. A year ago he published Freedom Realized: Finding Freedom From Homosexuality & Living a Life Free From Labels. More recently, in July of 2018, he published a report on the effectiveness of his ministry. One hundred eighty-five former clients who had received help from First Stone during a period of of 25 years (1990-2015) were surveyed.

In the report, Black writes,

Our survey yielded results about the reality of change that were more promising than I had believed possible. The outcome revealed that not only do people change, but they also can find lasting freedom. It’s a message that goes untold and unappreciated far too often. This is why I wrote my book Freedom Realized and this full report.¹

Here is one of the survey’s findings. For more, visit this page.

Stephen Black Is not Alone

Additional studies have been conducted on efforts to address same-sex attraction and homosexuality and to overcome these urges in clients’ experiences. The Family Research Council [FRC] analyzed six of these, including Stephen Black’s First Stone Ministries report. FRC states,

“Sexual orientation change efforts” (or SOCE) are efforts to help people with unwanted same-sex sexual attractions overcome those attractions and/or abstain from homosexual behavior. SOCE may include professional therapy or less formal (often religious) counseling. Critics of SOCE make two claims—that it is ineffective, and that it is harmful. Six studies or surveys from 2000 to 2018 are reviewed, all of which show that SOCE can be effective for some clients in bringing about significant change in some components of sexual orientation. Few harms were reported. Older reports, including 600 studies and five meta-analyses, showed the same. One widely-cited report on harms, with a sample selected for that purpose, offered almost entirely anecdotal rather than statistical evidence. These studies make clear that the evidence for the effectiveness of SOCE far outweighs the evidence of its harm.

SOCE [sexual orientation change efforts] can be effective for some clients in bringing about significant change in some components of sexual orientation.
—Family Research Council—

You can download a summary of FRC’s analysis, as well as the full version, from this page.

Blind to the Evidence

Despite such evidence, including testimonies from former homosexuals crediting help and therapy with delivering them from bondage, many Christian leaders are denying the validity of therapy, counseling, and other activities AB 2943 would have outlawed.

Kevin Mannoia is the chaplain at Azusa Pacific University, a Christian school in Azusa, California. In an article he recently wrote, Chaplain Mannoia refuted the notion that therapy has any value at all. We cited this quote in part 3 of our series.

Mr. Low’s central purpose as I understand it, is one which I and many other Christian leaders can support. Reparative therapy is without evidence as to its efficacy and is inconsistent with Christian living. We support Mr. Low in his opposition to practices that cause harm in people. This is contrary to the nature of the Christian message, which, while calling for change in all people to be oriented toward Christ even at great sacrifice, neither favors nor supports any practice that causes harm.

The Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University in Los Angeles, a private Christian university with a conservative reputation theologically, has a position statement on sexual orientation change efforts. Amazingly, it opposes such therapy, in part because of its belief that “there is no adequate scientific evidence that SOCE are effective in changing a person’s same-sex attraction.”

What? Why can’t Biola and its School of Psychology believe studies that indicate therapy is effective? Additionally, why can’t they believe Christians who have experienced the benefits this kind of therapy/counseling in their own lives and testify to it?

Will We Leave People Without Hope?

Dr. Robert Lopez

Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez authored a resolution titled “On Ministry and Counseling to Lead People from Homosexuality to Heterosexuality” and submitted it to the Resolutions Committee for the 2018 annual meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention in Dallas, Texas. The resolution should have been considered and passed, but it was not even allowed to come to the floor of the Convention. Dr. Lopez has strong convictions in favor of pro-heterosexual counseling and therapy for people dealing with unwanted homosexual attraction, if indeed they want such therapy. In particular, he is extremely frustrated, and rightly so, with Christian leaders who denounce the validity of change therapy. If they truly support a ban on such therapy, then these leaders actually

serve the LGBT community, regardless of what they may claim. They want gay people to remain identified with that community, even if they may take on some other name like “same sex-attracted.” They want to block strugglers from identifying as straight so that the gay community can continue to have a large constituency deprived of any exit strategy.

In the article from which the above quote comes, Lopez frequently uses the term “conversion therapy” to refer to legitimate change therapy for those who desire it. It is clear from his piece that Lopez is using the term generically, although he would have done well to avoid this term.

Even so, his points still are well made. To his eternal credit, Lopez understands what a great many other Christian leaders apparently do not. If we don’t encourage Christians who struggle with same-sex attraction to move toward heterosexuality, we effectively are saying they must remain in bondage to their temptations and lusts. This stands contrary to 2 Corinthians 5:17, where Paul wrote, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” Moreover, we deny them the possibility of obeying the admonition of Paul to the Colossian believers in Colossians 3:5: “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

If we don’t encourage Christians who struggle with same-sex attraction to move toward heterosexuality, we effectively are saying they must remain in bondage to their temptations and lusts.

The Ominous Implications of Denying the Validity of Counseling and Therapy

Like Dr. Lopez, Stephen Black also comprehends the ominous implications of denying the validity of efforts to alter one’s orientation from homosexuality to heterosexuality. The “gay Christian” movement (on display at the Revoice conference in St. Louis a few months ago) will say things like “the goal isn’t heterosexuality, but holiness,” but then use this as a basis for remaining content with a gay identity. In his First Stone Ministries Effectiveness Survey Report: Freedom Realized, Black writes,

Please pause here and really think for a moment about what the promotion is in the Church from these victim-minded “gay Christians” and their advocates and what they are asking Church leaders to embrace. They are asking us to embrace a belief that God Almighty cannot, or rarely will, change a person’s sexual attractions, desires, and lust. You will soon be surprised by scholarly teachers of the Word of God who are embracing this relativism in sinful unbelief by promoting “gay Christianity.” I adamantly disagree with these highly academically and theologically educated people. In fact, they are truly uneducated in heaven’s transformative power, and it seems that they unknowingly mock the Creator. I want to hope that they are unaware of how offensive this is to many surrendered Christians. They are merging “gay” with Christlikeness as acceptable. It is truly offensive to the sincere “ex-gays,” who have known God’s power to deliver by their many years of faithful surrender to God’s grace for change.²

The truth is that for Christians coming out of homosexuality, the goal is indeed holiness. Holiness doesn’t trump heterosexuality, however. Instead, it includes it—or moving toward it, with God’s help. This is because heterosexuality is part of God’s design.

Next time, we will explore what the Bible really teaches about homosexuality.

Stay tuned!

top image credit: Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash

second image: Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Notes:

¹Stephen H. Black. The Complete First Stone Ministries Effectiveness Survey Report Freedom Realized (Kindle Locations 411-413). Redemption Press.

²Ibid. (Kindle Locations 2010-2017). Redemption Press.

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