Three Lists that Cut Through the Fog that Otherwise Distorts the True Meaning of Marriage

Marriage exists to bring a man and a woman together as husband and wife to be father and mother to any children their union produces. It is based on the anthropological truth that men and women are different and complementary, the biological fact that reproduction depends on a man and a woman, and the social reality that children need both a mother and a father. Marriage predates government. It is the fundamental building block of all human civilization. Marriage has public purposes that transcend its private purposes.…Promoting marriage does not ban any type of relationship: Adults are free to make choices about their relationships, and they do not need government sanction or license to do so. All Americans have the freedom to live as they choose, but no one has a right to redefine marriage for everyone else.
—Ryan T. Anderson—

Key points: Marriage is God-given, God-ordained, and God-defined. It is and always will be the lifelong commitment of one man and one woman to each other. When a society pretends marriage is something it is not, the false assumptions involved put that society at risk and its future in peril. Only when such a society backtracks and affirms the truth will the risks diminish and the perils subside. Those who know what marriage is must lovingly, yet consistently and uncompromisingly, uphold it and contend for its recognition once more. It won’t be easy, but the alternative will be much more difficult for all.

List #1

The parts of a pocket watch / B. G. Seielstad

Against the backdrop of the intricate design of a pocket watch, we note these parallels between a pocket watch and marriage as God designed it—one man and one woman committed to each other for life. The article from which this list is taken is titled “Flawless Design.” It was originally published on September 23, 2017, and was republished on June 26, 2019.

Key point: Marriage cannot function as God intended it to function and bring its manifold benefits to individuals and society if its design is rejected or changed.

1. 1. The parts [of a watch] fit together.… A husband and wife also fit together. We see this most obviously in the physical realm, but it also is true on a multitude of other levels as well. In neither the watch nor in marriage are the players or parts identical, but they are compatible.
  2. The parts work together to accomplish a positive purpose.
  3. As the parts work together, they also work against each other—not in an adversarial way, but in a way that enhances the function and role of each, as well as the overall performance of the larger item, or in the case of marriage the relationship, of which they are parts.
  4. Just as the most effective way to ruin a watch would be to reject or to try to reshape or redefine its design, the most effective way to ruin marriage is to reject, alter, and/or redefine its design.

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

List #2

Ten Ways Same-Sex Marriage Denies Reality

The article from which this list is taken originally was published on January 15, 2016. Later, I posted the list by itself, in a separate piece.

This meme represents KLM Royal Dutch Airlines’ attempt to affirm homosexuality during June — “pride month” — of 2017.

1. 1. Individual autonomy under Obergefell stands contrary to the clear teaching of nature regarding the biological differences between the sexes.
  2. The conclusions of Obergefell’s worldview stand contrary to the clear relational dynamic that exists between opposite-sex couples. Put another way, same-sex marriage denies the importance of the mystery that always has been present—inherently—in heterosexual marriage. Because a man isn’t a woman and vice versa, each marital partner must work hard to understand, communicate with, and relate to his/her spouse. Such efforts strengthen a marriage. Same-sex marriage offers no such relational mystery. In fact, Secularism and same-sex marriage trample on this dynamic, effectively denying its importance and reality.
  3. The worldview of Obergefell refuses to acknowledge the profound implications for marriage that flow from the fact that only a heterosexual couple can have a baby.
  4. Secularism turns a deaf ear, not necessarily to a newborn’s helplessness, but to the implications of the baby’s helplessness. We must not forget that the baby would not have arrived were it not for a heterosexual union. Here we are not saying that homosexual parents of adopted infants neglect needs like feeding and changing them. We are saying that when both parents are of the same sex, this thwarts nature’s intention that the baby would have two opposite-sex parents once it is born. Put another way, same-sex marriage neglects the newborn’s innate needs for interacting with both a woman and a man—both a mother and a father. This is true not randomly, but in every case because same-sex marriage inherently denies children either a mother or a father.
  5. Developing point #4 further, we observe that when society says a same-sex relationship can be a marriage, it effectively divorces from marriage and the family the natural, innate responsibilities that come with a sexual union that produces and rears children. I want to be abundantly clear on this point, because I’m not trying to say here that homosexuals are bad parents. Here’s what I am saying: The traits and realities of heterosexual marriage automatically designate who should have the primary responsibility for raising the children. Even though many and probably most homosexual parents in same-sex “marriages” love their adopted children and care for them sacrificially, the marital arrangement they are in does not set the stage for them to do this, because same-sex couples cannot procreate.
  6. Despite secularism’s claim that discrimination is to be abhorred, it actively discriminates against both men and women through same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriageassumes that neither a man nor a woman has any unique contribution to bring to the important task of parenting. In other words, it assumes that both men and women are disposable.
  7. Through same-sex marriage, Secularism deprives children of the emotional balance that opposite-sex couples bring to parenting and to the family. The point here is that men and women are different, so a heterosexual couple provides an emotional balance for their children that same-sex couples cannot.
  8. Secularism through same-sex marriage also denies children the balanced perspective on authority that they would receive from opposite-sex parents. Men and women lead, and discipline, differently. Children need from their parents both male and female approaches to authority and leadership.
  9. The worldview of Obgerfell turns a deaf ear to civilization’s clear needs for the future.
  10. Finally, secular humanism upholds homosexuality as being on par with heterosexuality. This denies the reality of the health risks inherent in homosexuality. The denial doesn’t change the reality, however. Indeed, it cannot (also go here).

List #3

Eighteen Myths that Led to the Recognition of Same-Sex Marriage in the United States

This list comes from a series of ten articles published from December 11, 2017 to April 14, 2018.

Part 1: Myths Relating to the Courts, Government, Law, and the US Constitution

- - Myth #1: Marriage is a government construct over which government and government alone has oversight.
  - Myth #2: The federal government, especially through its court system, has absolute authority over marriage.
  - Myth #3: The government bestows rights; therefore, the government can take them away.
  - Myth #4: The Supreme Court is the final arbiter of disputes in the United States.

Part 2: Myths Relating to Male-Female Differences, Procreation, Parenting, and the Absence of a Mother or Father in Every Home Run by a Same-Sex Couple

- - Myth #5: Sex differences are is absolutely meaningless in marriage.
  - Myth #6: The fact that procreation occurs naturally only through heterosexual intercourse has nothing to do with marriage and the family.
  - Myth #7: Sex differences are absolutely meaningless in parenting.
  - Myth #8: Marriage is really all about adults—not children.

Part 3: A Myth Relating to Sexuality and Procreation

- - Myth #9: Marriage has more to do with sexual pleasure and emotional ties than producing and rearing children.

Part 4: Myths About Race and Racism

- - Myth #10: The denial of marriage to same-sex couples is akin to the denial of civil rights to blacks during the Jim Crow era.
  - Myth #11: The denial of marriage to same-sex couples is akin to denying interracial couples marriage.

Part 5: Myths About Discrimination and Equality

- - Myth #12: All discrimination is bad and must be criminalized.
  - Myth #13: Equality for gays with regard to marriage will be achieved only when discrimination preventing gays from marrying each other is eliminated.

Part 6, Part 7, and Part 8: The “Live and Let Live” Myth

- - Myth #14: Same-sex marriage has implications for the same-sex couple only, and not for others.
  - In part 6 we discuss the implications of same-sex marriage for society at large.
  - In part 7 we highlight how institutions are being affected, especially the church.
  - In part 8 we consider how same-sex marriage is upending the institution of the family.

Part 9: Myths About Homosexuality

- - Myth #15: Homosexuality is on par with heterosexuality.
  - Myth #16: Homosexuality is primarily an identity, not a behavior.

Part 10: Myths About Absolute Truth and the Resulting Responsibility of Government

- - Myth #17: Absolute truth does not exist.
  - Myth #18: Because absolute truth does not exist, government can manipulate the meaning of marriage to mean whatever it deems appropriate. This myth returns us to the place where we started in this series. Remember Myth #1? “Marriage is a government construct over which government and government alone has oversight.”

Conclusion

Are we really ready to totally abandon America’s Founders’ conviction that rights are unalienable and God-given, and that government’s role is to protect those rights, not create new, counterfeit “rights” out of thin air, base desires, or emotional impulses?

More to the point, are we willing to tell people to the truth? This is the compassionate and loving thing to do—because people and society, sooner or later, will hit reality head-on; and it will be unyielding.

Please check out the work of David Fowler, President of the Family Action Council of Tennessee. He is working to uphold the US Constitution on the issue of marriage, along with the bedrock principle of unalienable rights as affirmed in the Declaration of Independence. These efforts mean that he, as well as the organization he represents, also are upholding God-given Marriage. We need to join this effort and do the same.

To learn more, watch the 2020 Family Action Council of Tennessee legislative briefing (video displayed below) held on Thursday, February 20. Here is a clip from that presentation. David Fowler is the main presenter; the other voice in the clip is that of Todd Payne of Bott Radio Network, a sponsor of the briefing.

David’s comments relate to myths 1–4 in list #3 above, which are covered in part 1 of the ten-part series titled “Myths that Led to the Recognition of Same-Sex Marriage in the United States.” David discusses these issues far more articulately than I do, but I think both of our presentations are clear. Please, listen to David Fowler’s entire presentation to get an even better understanding of the misinformation that is out there with regard to Supreme Court rulings. And keep this in mind: Myths related to the federal government’s “authority” to “manage marriage” are only some of the many myths people everywhere—even Christians—believe.

Yes, the principle of judicial supremacy is a lie, but it’s only one lie related to the federal government’s authority to “manage marriage.” A multitude of lies and misunderstandings about marriage continue to hold millions of people—even Christians—hostage.

Here’s the bottom line. We who understand the truth must work together and expose false beliefs about marriage. Not only must we expose the lies, but we also must faithfully uphold uphold marriage as God designed it—for the benefit of all.

Even those who disagree with us.

top image: Photo by Photos by Lanty on Unsplash

FACT Legislative Briefing

Here is a video of the Family Action Council of Tennessee legislative briefing held on Thursday, February 20, at Bellevue Baptist Church in Memphis.

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